Dear Portfolio Committee,

Coming into this semester I questioned myself as a writer and how I feel I come up with the thoughts and ideas to make a worthwhile paper but can’t find the words to write to express those ideas. Speaking my thoughts has always come easy to me translating them to paper has been my struggle. I’ve managed to work towards defeating this problem I struggle with and there is still a ways to go before I’m free of this battle. Throughout the writings included in this portfolio I believe one of my biggest issues is the organization of ideas. Along with that I also tend to have very long run-on sentences which is indicative of my speaking as I tend to not stop once I’m on topic. Along with any skill it’s something that will take practice and work and an area I know as my weakness. I am however happy with the pieces included as I know its building the foundation for something that I will become better at in the future with work and practice.

The first in my portfolio is my ethnography piece titled “Who am I”. The topic covering this piece is following a friend of mine whose family has immigrated to the United States from Cambodia and him growing up mixed between two cultures. The mixture between growing up around friends who’ve been “Americanized” and going home to a lifestyle akin to something he would see in his home country and the difficulties faced with growing up in this environment are covered. The difficulty in writing this piece was describing the situations he finds himself in from both his perspective and mine but ultimately putting my words to paper to describe his situation. It prompted me to write in a “his shoes” fashion and gave me an appreciation for the difficulties in being raised in an environment with two completely different cultures.

The second piece is my memoir piece titles “Privileged”. This writing covered growing up being lower income and the lessons that come with it. It discusses how being underprivileged can affect your upbringing whether it be for the good or the bad and how I derived my ethics from this experience. I chose to write about this because it’s led to me being who I am today and provides me with the work ethic that I have and how I’ve grown. I wrote this essay by writing main ideas down first and then building upon them for each paragraph trying to keep with one idea per paragraph.

The third piece is my text wrestling writing titled “What you make it”. This essay is an overview and discussion of Jennifer Senior’s writing “All Joy and No Fun”. Senior wrote about the various studies there are regarding this feelings of parents and what can influence positively and negatively a parents view. I’ve covered a few aspects of from the writing that express both the positive and negative sides of parenting and what can influence the ideas to become a more positive thought. I also wrote briefly about my own experiences being a parent and my thoughts on being who you are as a person and your own personal thought process ultimately decides what kind of experience parenting can be for you personally.

I’ve feel I’ve progressed over the course and received a lot of feedback on my writing style and the areas of improvement I need. With what I’ve learned I know now that I need to practice in organizing my thought process and find a way that works for me. I hope you enjoy reading what I’ve written and that I will grow from this experience and learn from any input received to help me in future endeavors.

Sincerely

Joseph Hernandez

Growing up was an adventure for me the types of people that surrounded me were always from different cultures, upbringings and social statuses. The color of your skin, where you came from, what language you spoke and how much money you had were never of concern for me and never have been. With this melting pot of friends and family that I surrounded myself with there were none more interesting and enriching then those friends who were from immigrant families. According to the 2009 Census immigrants in the US make up roughly 12.5 percent of the US population (Jeanne Batalova). Many of those who’ve come to the United States do so for a variety of reasons some including a better life – higher paying jobs, to be with other family members or to escape a dangerous climate in their home country. Whatever the reason may be they all come with the American

Dream in their minds and bring with them their own cultural beliefs and practices broadening horizons and experience for those who may never get the chance to visit the counties from which they’ve come. The families with which I became most attached and befriended were those who had come to the United States to seek a better quality of life and safety from their home country of Cambodia. The times during which most of the families migrated to the United States was during the Khmer Rouge regime from 1975 until 1979 (Jeanne Batalova). Basic rights were taken from those who lived there prompting them to immigrate to the United States. A large amount of those who migrated here would eventually settle in Lowell and Lynn Massachusetts which have the second and third largest Cambodian populations in the United States. The concentration of the moves have allowed for cultural traditions to be passed down from mothers and fathers and other extended family. It’s not uncommon to see my friends still living with their families in the same house or building as they’ve always had a closeness to their family.

One visit to a friend’s parents’ house and we’ll call him Alex began immediately being greeted by his mother and being told to take my shoes off at the door. While strange to me I’m not unaccustomed to doing this in other households I’m told by Alex this is always done when entering a Cambodian household. After being greeted by his mother I’m also greeted by the smells of food and the sound of music both of which I’ve never experienced smelling nor hearing. The walls are emblazoned with photos of family past and present there’s even a news article taped to the wall with a photo of my friend as a child and his family. I’m offered food and something to drink which I decline both as I had already eaten and was only there to pick my friend up but the hospitality is present and even so on future visits. Fast forward to my friend’s house and the custom of taking my shoes off at the door is still present however I’m not met with the same aromas and music. To me this house is more of what my household is like. The fridge is stocked with items I would find in my fridge soda, milk, lunch meats and other leftovers of food I had made too much of. There is however wrapped food that I’ve seen at his parents’ house and he tells me he doesn’t know how to make it but always goes to his mother’s house to bring home the ethnic cooking he’s used to from home. As we leave his house I come to notice the differences and similarities between what I’ve seen at his mother’s house, his house and my house.

His experiences growing up outside of his household were not much different from mine. We went to the same schools played the same sports and video games and listened to the same music. When he went home however he spoke in native tongue and ate much different food from me. His parents still stressed the importance of school as my mother did and the right and wrong things in life. He did however have much greater teachings of family values and respect for elders and parents then I did. He was raised with his Cambodian heritage strongly being taught in his home but outside from his house you would have never known the difference he was just a normal kid to me. However the struggles were present between his world and our world there was a balance. There were other Cambodian kids to be found so solace could be found with them and that may be what brings the communities to populate so closely. No matter what though he vows to hold on to whatever cultural practices he can.

First impressions when meeting parents and extended family were interesting and you begin to realize the welcoming you receive from people who you’ve never met before. The language barrier is there when it comes to the older generation and in part because there was such a concentration of the population settled in one place there was never really a need to learn English as there was always someone who spoke in the native tongue. As my friends have grown they maintain the ability to speak in their native tongue as well as English and become tutors and translators in a way ensuring their parents can understand someone such as myself with no knowledge of the language. Shoes are another custom to be followed, they must be taken off at the door and it’s just a small procedure to follow but is a big one within their culture. Aside from physical customs and courtesies food always plays a big role in daily life and gatherings. The drive for which my friends desire their parents’ home cooking and talk about it would make you think it’s a holiday every time they eat it. All of these customs passed down from previous generations will only last however if those in my generation my, my friends continue on to practice and incorporate them in their daily lives. This can prove difficult as they struggle with those around them who do not practice these same customs and have the potential to lose touch with where they have come from. The same can be said about any immigrant family where from generation to generation the loss of the cultural practices slowly lose their place in everyday life. No matter what culture you come from there are always customs that will follow you will they be followed exactly as they were at your previous residence or will you only take with you a few aspects of your previous lifestyle. The dilution into American society changed most of my friends and only a few customs have been retained. Will their children maintain some of the customs or will they lose out on the experience of their heritage. Only time will tell but the only person who can carry on the traditions is the individual.

Works Cited
Jeanne Batalova, Aaron Terrazas. Frequently Requested Statistics on Immigrants and Immigration in the United States. 9 December 2010. Web. February 2014.

Growing up in a lower income family with only my mother things could have been better but they were what they were. With my father out of the picture and as an only child I had quite a bit of free time while my mother was out working one of her many jobs. This gave me time to do almost anything that I wanted sometimes good sometimes bad but it was just that time to work on whatever it was my heart desired. This also created an issue as I had no one to blame when something did go wrong I didn’t have a dog so who else was there to place the blame on. Believe me I tried everything that I could do to come up with an outlandish story and my mother being who she is would let me believe that she believed me but I know now she just wanted me to be happy and not always punish me for the smaller things. That’s something that I can come to appreciate today because not everything needs to be a major offense as they say don’t sweat the small things. On the other hand when it was time to receive a punishment there was no way out of it and it’s made me into someone who practices integrity in everyday life. I accept the punishment for my wrongs and always strive to do the right thing even if it does require more time and effort.

With money always being an issue holidays weren’t always the most extravagant of events and gifts were not always plentiful. But my mother made them seem like there was nothing better in the world than what was going on in my house on that day. I would hear the stories of how she scrimped to save just to get me the things I wanted and I don’t know of any kid growing up that didn’t want the latest and greatest game or toy. She always supported me in the variety of extra-curricular activities that I chose to do every other week and never said a word to me about the money she had to spend to see me do what I enjoyed even if it was only for a week or so. The support that she showed to me when she could be there was tremendous and allows me to know now that life should be spent doing things that you enjoy and finding your niche in life. Nothing should stop you from at least trying something that interests you because you’ll never know if it will become something you love doing. There was a time when I was younger when everyone I knew was getting into karate of course this is something that I also needed to do. I began going and enjoyed this but slowly those friends that were going stopped going as well and with that I lost interest. My mother had spent quite a bit of money on the training and equipment and when I told her that I no longer wanted to go there was a brief moment of anger but she knew this was something that wouldn’t make me happy. Eventually her investment into my hobbies became a reality for me when I was 16 and my mother allowed me to build my own computer. The lasting impact that this had on my life knowing that she was willing to support me in another of my endeavors which she knew could only be a fad then but would eventually become my career later is irreplaceable.

With this upbringing I’ve come to value many things in life most importantly the value of life over money and material things. Of course I’d love to have more money than I knew what to do with who wouldn’t it all comes down to security whether it be of the lifestyle your living or for the peace of mind that there’s one less burden on your life. None of this matters to me at least today and it’s because I’ve grown from the young kid who wanted everything into the teenager who spent every dollar he had on everything to the college kid who was approved for credit cards and could afford everything (or so he thought) to the person that I am today who knows that the value on life and the impression you leave with others out values all of these things If there was an impression I could leave with my daughter it would be to just sit back and enjoy life not for the things but for the people. As I write this I realize the main appreciation I’ve gained is the people whether it be my mother who raised me or the person who may have opened a door for me one day no matter how big the act those little impressions have shaped who I’ve become today and the values I hope to instill in others around me. None more than my daughter and hope that she will grow up appreciating things and the people around her in the same way that I’ve come to appreciate them. Through this I also hope she gains a passion for things that she believes in and holds on to her views and thoughts without hesitation. Allowing her the independence at a young age to make her own decisions and deal with the consequences as a result is something I plan to instill in her to ensure she can appreciate life and everything it brings.

“All Joy and No fun Why parents hate parenting” (Senior) written by Jennifer Senior is an article that discusses the stigma attached to parenthood as being an unhappy task. Study after study is broken down to discuss the differences between those who are single and couples who are childless and their counterparts who have children and the unhappiness that is their life. Senior presents studies which contradict these ideas in the article stating that dependent on the environment in which the parents raise their children stresses of raising a child differ. The environment in which one has a strong government funded welfare system and reduces the financial burden on parents in relation to school, healthcare and employment benefits – maternity/paternity leave is one of the leading reducers of this stress. The study in which it found parents to be happier was conducted in European countries and does not account for their American counterparts who find themselves less happy having to deal with this financial burden for the majority of their children’s lives until they reach the age where they become independent. The end result on how the parent feels is in fact up to the parent and not something that should be determined by a study in fact one study followed up with those who a study was conducted on and found they regretted things they haven’t done one such thing being not having a family.

While Senior vividly describes the struggle of parenting it also brings many moments of joy and this is what will be premise for the article. The author covers all aspects of the spectrum from happy to unhappy parents as compared to their childless counterparts. The consensus seems to be that parents are unhappy beings and find solace, meaning and guilt when it comes to raising their children. A postdoctoral fellow who worked on a study conducted by the UCLA’s center on everyday lives of families described the study as “the very purest form of birth control eve devised. Ever” (Senior) it’s worth noting that the fellow is also a father of two. It can be a challenge at times and thinking of the time vestment required in raising a child is enough to deter most couples or individuals but the decision is not one that should be taken lightly.

Could it be said that only parents in countries with weak welfare systems are the only unhappy ones? American parents seem to find themselves unhappier than their counterparts in European and other countries where there is a strong welfare system that assists parents in raising their children financially. Jennifer and agree “If you are no longer fretting about spending too little time with your children after they’re born (because you have a year of paid maternity leave), if you’re no longer anxious about finding affordable child care once you go back to work (because the state subsidizes it), if you’re no longer wondering how to pay for your children’s education and healthcare (because they’re free) -well it stands to reason that your own mental health would improve” (Senior). The environment that a child is raised in with relation to economic benefits can vastly improve how a parent will report their mood when responding to the question of happiness. In another study conducted by the Open University (University) in which reports show married parents show a high if not higher overall happiness with life. In the Open University report relationship quality, satisfaction, and maintenance are all lower than the childless couples but again the overall happiness is equal if not higher. The study also reports that Fathers are equally as happy with life then childless men and mothers are actually significantly happier than women without children.

Being a parent myself I can speak to the challenges that it brings and can associate with the image of bliss turned to a nightmare as Senior conveys in the introduction of her article. It’s a big decision for any person to make raising a child is something that takes a lifetime worth of commitment and the financial burden is clear. To say that it’s “All Joy and no Fun” could be considered a sort of inside joke for parents the times can be difficult and yet the most memorable of moments will also be experienced. There is definitely a change in lifestyle and many of the things you used to enjoy doing like living the life of a socialite now have to sit on the back burner so that you can tend to the needs of your child. The ultimate thing to realize is that joy comes in all shapes and sizes and is what you make it. Senior touches on the lifestyle of being a parent and from the outside looking in who wouldn’t want to avoid being in the situations parents find themselves in. But it’s something at the end of the day a childless person will never understand when you have that moment of walking towards your front steps and seeing your child waiting for you.

Jennifer’s article and studies included all vary greatly based on the circumstances each parent find themselves in. One thing is clear and stated at the conclusion of the article when following up with participants of a study “people are far more apt to regret things they haven’t done than things they have.” (Senior). Tom Gilovich says it best “The very things that in the moment dampen our moods can later be sources of intense gratification, nostalgia, delight” (Senior). It’s my opinion that Jennifer believes this to be true and contradictory to the studies published that the own individual creates their happiness and the environment in which done can have a major role in the parenting process but ultimately it’s on the parent to decide what makes them happy.

Works Cited
Senior, Jennifer. All Joy and No Fun Why parents hate parenting. 4 July 2010. Web. April 2014.
University, The Open. Enduring Love Couple Relationships in the 21st Century. November 2013. Document. April 2014.